Designer : Noa_Carmen
Software : Adobe
Basecodes: xXx

Enjoy your stay

It's been a while. Haven't checked, but my last post should have been made in mid 2010, that makes it a year since I'd input anything here. Not that I've stopped writing, it's just that it has been a tumultuous period at that time, and certain things that happened...I preferred not to have them laid out for others to see.

Everyone has secrets. What makes you think secrets have become such a big deal in people's minds? Is it the good, or bad secrets? Withholding the knowledge of a b'day-gift from someone is also a secret, one is most likely to bring gentle smiles and warm feelings, is all. As contrary to optimism, such a secret rarely causes repercussions. Why? 

You were caught stealing something, and you made the person promised not to leak it to others. The secret is formed. If there were to be even a single strand of rumour about your itchy-fingers, everyone is going to want to know what exactly did you do. Why the raised atmosphere? People want to see others fail, and sometimes even have a hand in creating that misfortune for others. Perhaps it's wired into us, survival instincts even.

We are all sadists. Something to hide.

Haha, quite a lengthy story explaining the gap in activity on this blog. Now that the blogging fuss has significantly died down to pave the way for 'New' social networking, I guess minimal amount of readers will be viewing this then. Since I think I can crawl out of my hiding spot now, safely.

Before I started on this post, I was reading through some of my earlier entries. Pretty interesting. Nice to see how much one has grown or changed in the matter of a year. Okay, I'm being overly mild. Reading through a post I wrote in Sec1 actually made me smile to myself. While I know the post was excruciatingly stupid and I should kick myself for it, I also knew that it was written in Sec1, nearly 4 years ago. Sometimes a man has just gotta cut himself some slack. Besides, like I said, it shows how much I've grown.

We should all try it. Read something you'd written in the past when you were younger. Blog and journal entries, essay assignments, cute little birthday cards, whatever. You'll get to know yourself better.

Life is a funny thang'...

Just to clear the recent happenings first...
1. End of MYE
Crossing my fingers on this one. ;)

2. Movie outing: 'The Last Song'
Disappointment should be apt enough to describe my feelings towards it. A cliche plot with no sense of freshness in it. A total letdown when put alongside its novel counterpart, the movie didn't do the actual book any justice at all. The amount of kissing scenes should've been enough to spur the directors on to turn it into a porn flick, I don't see why it didn't. Just kidding.

The crying wasn't neccessary, people. Was it? I'm not sure what made it so touching, but apparently many found it to be so. Maybe I'm just a cold-hearted no-good who has long been numb to such... visuals.


3. Outdoor Trek
No comments. Except that I fell short of my targeted distance.

4. Mum's injured her head at work, need to stay home these few days to look after her.
It's just as well, she needed a break from work anyway.

5. Alone
During these few days of camping at home to look after my mother, it's a perfect opportunity to clear out some space for myself. Personal, mental space, that it. It's about time I did some more thinking. Don't bother me for the next few days, I need to clear out some personal things.



Thinking... thinking over what? That is a dangerous path to tread towards. When one's mind is hazy much too often, layered with excessive thoughts, does one think more to try and clear the fog? Or does one stop thinking and wait for the sunlight to penetrate through?

Either way, it merely shows that the misty environment dominates still.

We are all leaves from a giant tree. Some are budding, some are green, others become yellowed, while the remaining few... you can find them withered and upon the ground. The cycle is always present, budding leaves turn green, then yellow, then they wither and die. You can find this cycle existing almost anywhere. Try spotting it.

Sitting atop this tree, I can be singing sorrowfully the lyrics of my heart. But soon I realise that it can only be the howling of a wounded wolf. Then I discover that the lyrics are not my own, they belong to the many others who share a similar fate. Yes, all our fates are similar, but there are as many differences as there are similarities. Always.

My eye gazes at the distant horizon, and as the sky darkens, my eyes cloud over, synchronised with the ominous works of nature. The clouds has never left since.

No matter how many times, and how many people, comment on my eyes (Wai Ling commented on my eyelashes once, that doesn't count.), I still cannot change the fact that if you want to look into my eyes, I'll have to provide you the inconvenience of looking into bottomless pits. If the saying is true, "A person's eyes are the windows to the soul.", then my soul must be somewhat like a demon. Even strangers look away when I sweep them a passing glance. Or is it just because my eyebags are too horrendous? Haha.

In life, one will not fail to have his share of the many different flavours available. However, there are the ambigious. Like coffee, you can always add sugar to make it taste sweet, but the bitterness derived from the coffee beans never go away, and people enjoy it nonetheless. This shows that life cannot be just all sweet.

No much of not-so-funny April Fool's Day jokes this year, which is surprisingly soothing.

I thank thee to all that have wished me a Happy 16th Birthday. Even if you didn't, I'm sure you would've wanted to do so. It's alright, I'm not that petty.

I know I've already done this via SMS. But I really do love the birthday present this much. I'll just like to make it known that the birthday book was really the best gift I have ever received. My gratitude will forever be overflowing.

I don't know what more to say except that I'm touched. So let's stop this post here for now. Thank you to all my dear friends once again.

It was a explosive day yesterday. I sincerely thank all who attended my birthday meet, and also towards those who passed me their best wishes. Thank you to all of you!

27th of April was immensely enjoyable, credit goes to friends who made it possible. To those who could not be present, I missed every single one of you, no doubt. Despite celebrating my birthday 4 days earlier, the elation was not lacking.

I have to say, all that frisbee games, poker card showdowns and 'Choosing the Eater' brought about much laughter. One more thing guys, my sofa isn't one for an orgy. Next time you guys wanna check each other out, try not to make it so obvious.

Don't feel like I have the diligence to do uploading of photos today, I'll do it on the next post. Promise. There are really some funny scenes I have to show.

Special thanks goes to Shao Qiang as well, who cancelled his tuition in order to attend my birthday party.

Ugh, I actually ate a piece of fruit first time in many months. Thanks to the forceful coercing from someone. I don't really like eating fruits... They taste funny.

So, I hope all 14 of you enjoyed the pizza, the cake, the games, and of course, Me. You have my deepest gratitude for relaying to me this joy through such a crazy roller-coaster ride. Haha.

... ... ... ... ... ...


Actually, I'm still reeling from my Common Test Overall results, which hasn't at all been anything good. It is a huge blow, kind of. No point mulling over it, I guess, might as well get actions around it.

Once in a while, a poem or two pops into my mind. However, anyone who writes any piece of literature will tell you that writing literature isn't like writing a report. You can't write it just because it is required and needed.

For me, poems flow in times of emotional stirs, be it for the good or for worse. Coincidentally, poems are somehow my own signals towards myself about what's going through my mind. Sometimes I see things better when they're expressed in word art.

Not that 'Word Art' in Powerpoint. The art of expressive words, as such.

Anyway, let's not stray. Here is 'Forgotten Reminiscence', please take your time reading through. Fragments of my soul lie in there, please do not miss any of them, for I myself cannot retrieve them on my own...



The hands of the clock has flew without me knowing,

Once delectable and vivid,

Now stale and dying.

Remains are only battered words in livid.


Footfalls in that familiar patch of green,

Has now relinquished its position,

Turns into echoing growls in where we have once been,

In my voice there is no longer any elocution.


I do not know how to comprehend,

When I can no longer differentiate between butterflies and moths.

The beauty in your wings I cannot pretend,

But likewise my eyes do not deny your morph.


Once the air itself smelled of maple syrup,

Now it is brimmed with onion fumes.

I thought I tasted sweetness in that cup,

Realised I was standing in the middle of desert dunes.


Never have I felt so alive,

Yet so lacking in feelings.

Unconsciously falling into an ever-darkening orifice,

Heart numbed by capricious dealings.


~Fingers trembling, hands shaky.
William.



"You say I'm brave, I'm glad to listen to those very words. But my bravery would not need to be present, if fears were not there in the first place."


... Here I leave, leaving behind with you only a faint silhouette. Even one day, this shadow will slowly fade into the trees I've walked under, the puddles I've stepped over, and the skies I once looked at.

Didn't feel like running today, legs felt too heavy. May be re-running next week, currently I'm not satisfied with my 2.4km run-timing. I felt I could do better.

Is it true that disappointments always have to come in bunches? Got back a failing mark early in the morning for Pure Geography, I was so down that the 2.4km run that came afterwards just came and went with no particular interest to me at all.

Even though it has only been the Common Test, all these failing marks (or near-fail) I have been getting recently has been nothing short of bitch-slapping me around. It hurts. Thing is, I thought it wouldn't.

Looks like I do care about my studies more than I initially thought of myself.

...

When you said that you actually gave a shit about me to care for me in this way, I knew that I had let you down. When you teared at the eyes, it felt foreign, yet it was easily-known. I'll do my best not to repeat the mistake again.

Alice In Wonderland. How was it for those who have already watched it? Just caught the movie today and...

I can say that it was alright. Yea, it was alright. Perhaps I would've liked it more if I were a few years younger. But I definitely cannot discredit it for something else though. The scenes were a treat for the eyes, CGs were great. And the array of colours... brilliant.

Graphics-wise, it's a success. Story-wise, it doesn't really adhere to the original story of Alice In Wonderland. But that's fine too, originality plays a key role here.

The group of us invaded Starbucks after the movie and got ourselves coffee, cake, and tea. Seems more like its was afternoon high tea or something. Anyway, took quite some time for everyone to finish, left the place at around 10.45pm.

Here's to thanking someone for taking a long walk with me, really kept me from falling asleep on the pavement. You can thank me for sending you home as well.

Totally dragged myself home after the movie, didn't realise I was that tired. Looks like the excessive excercise in recent days does leave its footprint.

Basketball and running in the morning has been pleasant in some parts, unpleasant in others. All part and parcel, I'll just have to take it in my stride.

Late night approaches, and I think I'll need the energy for my intensive-homework regime tomorrow. Time to catch a few hours worth of winks.


"Pigments in flowers will fade away. The discolouration is becoming more apparent. As Autumn comes and goes, all that's left will be fallen petals, yellowed and shrivelled upon the ground."

Mother Tongue supplementary was a short lesson. Relaxed alone at the banks of our school pond for a couple of minutes after that.

Hmm, they removed that fake crane they used to put on top of the waterfall. The koi fish seems to have gotten fewer and far between, smaller as well, or was I just forgetful? Pebbles by the banks looked a lot more course and weathered since the last time I saw them, the wear of time, I can tell. Flowers beside the pond had a wilted look, as if there was some sort of disappointment surrounding the early morning. Or maybe they just have not bloomed for the day yet. How different am I?

Guys had a trip planned to go play pool in the afternoon...
Surprise. I stayed home to do up on Math. Wonder how many pool tables they toppled in their excitement. AND how many more tables would have been toppled if I was there.

Holidays are always a good time to get my pen ink flowing again, words seem to form more fluidly in recent days. Maybe I should put more of my thoughts to words.

Not forgetting, tomorrow itself is already Literature Remedial, time to brush up on my literary skills.

But recalling now, tomorrow's supposed to be a presentation for our Literature Project.
Time to whip out my group's 6-page essay on To Kill A Mockingbird, form a vague script in my mind, and time to get busy.