Designer : Noa_Carmen
Software : Adobe
Basecodes: xXx

Enjoy your stay

It was a explosive day yesterday. I sincerely thank all who attended my birthday meet, and also towards those who passed me their best wishes. Thank you to all of you!

27th of April was immensely enjoyable, credit goes to friends who made it possible. To those who could not be present, I missed every single one of you, no doubt. Despite celebrating my birthday 4 days earlier, the elation was not lacking.

I have to say, all that frisbee games, poker card showdowns and 'Choosing the Eater' brought about much laughter. One more thing guys, my sofa isn't one for an orgy. Next time you guys wanna check each other out, try not to make it so obvious.

Don't feel like I have the diligence to do uploading of photos today, I'll do it on the next post. Promise. There are really some funny scenes I have to show.

Special thanks goes to Shao Qiang as well, who cancelled his tuition in order to attend my birthday party.

Ugh, I actually ate a piece of fruit first time in many months. Thanks to the forceful coercing from someone. I don't really like eating fruits... They taste funny.

So, I hope all 14 of you enjoyed the pizza, the cake, the games, and of course, Me. You have my deepest gratitude for relaying to me this joy through such a crazy roller-coaster ride. Haha.

... ... ... ... ... ...


Actually, I'm still reeling from my Common Test Overall results, which hasn't at all been anything good. It is a huge blow, kind of. No point mulling over it, I guess, might as well get actions around it.

Once in a while, a poem or two pops into my mind. However, anyone who writes any piece of literature will tell you that writing literature isn't like writing a report. You can't write it just because it is required and needed.

For me, poems flow in times of emotional stirs, be it for the good or for worse. Coincidentally, poems are somehow my own signals towards myself about what's going through my mind. Sometimes I see things better when they're expressed in word art.

Not that 'Word Art' in Powerpoint. The art of expressive words, as such.

Anyway, let's not stray. Here is 'Forgotten Reminiscence', please take your time reading through. Fragments of my soul lie in there, please do not miss any of them, for I myself cannot retrieve them on my own...



The hands of the clock has flew without me knowing,

Once delectable and vivid,

Now stale and dying.

Remains are only battered words in livid.


Footfalls in that familiar patch of green,

Has now relinquished its position,

Turns into echoing growls in where we have once been,

In my voice there is no longer any elocution.


I do not know how to comprehend,

When I can no longer differentiate between butterflies and moths.

The beauty in your wings I cannot pretend,

But likewise my eyes do not deny your morph.


Once the air itself smelled of maple syrup,

Now it is brimmed with onion fumes.

I thought I tasted sweetness in that cup,

Realised I was standing in the middle of desert dunes.


Never have I felt so alive,

Yet so lacking in feelings.

Unconsciously falling into an ever-darkening orifice,

Heart numbed by capricious dealings.


~Fingers trembling, hands shaky.
William.



"You say I'm brave, I'm glad to listen to those very words. But my bravery would not need to be present, if fears were not there in the first place."


... Here I leave, leaving behind with you only a faint silhouette. Even one day, this shadow will slowly fade into the trees I've walked under, the puddles I've stepped over, and the skies I once looked at.

Didn't feel like running today, legs felt too heavy. May be re-running next week, currently I'm not satisfied with my 2.4km run-timing. I felt I could do better.

Is it true that disappointments always have to come in bunches? Got back a failing mark early in the morning for Pure Geography, I was so down that the 2.4km run that came afterwards just came and went with no particular interest to me at all.

Even though it has only been the Common Test, all these failing marks (or near-fail) I have been getting recently has been nothing short of bitch-slapping me around. It hurts. Thing is, I thought it wouldn't.

Looks like I do care about my studies more than I initially thought of myself.

...

When you said that you actually gave a shit about me to care for me in this way, I knew that I had let you down. When you teared at the eyes, it felt foreign, yet it was easily-known. I'll do my best not to repeat the mistake again.

Alice In Wonderland. How was it for those who have already watched it? Just caught the movie today and...

I can say that it was alright. Yea, it was alright. Perhaps I would've liked it more if I were a few years younger. But I definitely cannot discredit it for something else though. The scenes were a treat for the eyes, CGs were great. And the array of colours... brilliant.

Graphics-wise, it's a success. Story-wise, it doesn't really adhere to the original story of Alice In Wonderland. But that's fine too, originality plays a key role here.

The group of us invaded Starbucks after the movie and got ourselves coffee, cake, and tea. Seems more like its was afternoon high tea or something. Anyway, took quite some time for everyone to finish, left the place at around 10.45pm.

Here's to thanking someone for taking a long walk with me, really kept me from falling asleep on the pavement. You can thank me for sending you home as well.

Totally dragged myself home after the movie, didn't realise I was that tired. Looks like the excessive excercise in recent days does leave its footprint.

Basketball and running in the morning has been pleasant in some parts, unpleasant in others. All part and parcel, I'll just have to take it in my stride.

Late night approaches, and I think I'll need the energy for my intensive-homework regime tomorrow. Time to catch a few hours worth of winks.


"Pigments in flowers will fade away. The discolouration is becoming more apparent. As Autumn comes and goes, all that's left will be fallen petals, yellowed and shrivelled upon the ground."

Mother Tongue supplementary was a short lesson. Relaxed alone at the banks of our school pond for a couple of minutes after that.

Hmm, they removed that fake crane they used to put on top of the waterfall. The koi fish seems to have gotten fewer and far between, smaller as well, or was I just forgetful? Pebbles by the banks looked a lot more course and weathered since the last time I saw them, the wear of time, I can tell. Flowers beside the pond had a wilted look, as if there was some sort of disappointment surrounding the early morning. Or maybe they just have not bloomed for the day yet. How different am I?

Guys had a trip planned to go play pool in the afternoon...
Surprise. I stayed home to do up on Math. Wonder how many pool tables they toppled in their excitement. AND how many more tables would have been toppled if I was there.

Holidays are always a good time to get my pen ink flowing again, words seem to form more fluidly in recent days. Maybe I should put more of my thoughts to words.

Not forgetting, tomorrow itself is already Literature Remedial, time to brush up on my literary skills.

But recalling now, tomorrow's supposed to be a presentation for our Literature Project.
Time to whip out my group's 6-page essay on To Kill A Mockingbird, form a vague script in my mind, and time to get busy.

This Friday, which was a few days ago, up till today, has been eventful. But all these will take a halt with the commencement of our first remedial lesson tomorrow.

I'll just talk on what happened recently, eh?

Friday... Was a day where we got to change our school desks to new ones, followed by laughing at Frederick for retaining his old one which was supposed to still look 'new'.

Got to complete one of my greatest dreams at the end of school hours that day. Managed to redress myself in the school uniform with the casual tie, re-orientated shirt and whatnot. Pictures are with Jane, I think. Whew, I didn't know the school uniform could ever look so bold.

Went out for lunch at MacDonalds with Ivan, Frederick, and Kin Hong. Again, we got to laugh at Frederick. Don't take spicy food if you can't take it, please. All you did was end up wasting food. Alright, chill, just joking with ya'.

Bunch of slackers wanted to come to my house after the meal. Reluctantly obliged, although I really felt like I needed a nap that time.

Kin Hong said that the last time he played a First-Person Shooter (FPS) video game was 7 years ago, on Halo 1. We felt like that was a ridiculously long time for a teenage guy. It's like asking a 35-year-old man when was the last time he and his wife... and he says, "7 years". So, there you go, we decided to give him some help.

Did I enjoy teaching him how to kill and draw blood? You may ask.
No.
But I bet HE enjoyed killing and drawing blood. That's Sudden Attack SEA on the screen, by the way. Argh, but my Kill-Death ratio (KD) was totally thrown down the drain...


...The following day.

Went out for basketball on Saturday morning with my usual group of friends, save for Phil, who's a recent addition.

Weather was unbelievably warm and dry, didn't even have the drive to play properly at all. So we decided to rest.

Well, I did say the weather was dry. But I didn't really expect to have 4 out of 6 of us come out of the MiniMart with 1.5L bottles of soft drinks in our hands. The 1.5L men had ourselves bloated like idiots.

Followed up with a few muscle workouts at a nearby park. Where love at first sight struck...
I mean, she was really beautiful. I really couldn't resist stroking her tender body, and the way she purrs... Oh my gosh.


















I did say she purrs, didn't I?



Laying beside my bottle of 7-Up and shying away from the camera.


Just playing around a little bit. Cute lil' kitten, lol.


Cuddling against my bottom. Crap, I must have like, the nicest-smelling ass in the world.



Caught another cat in action, except that this time, it was getting a whole lot more adrenaline-based. Predator-and-prey relationship here. The cat got into a prowling position and stalked, then stopped. They actually stared at each other for at least 5 minutes without a single movement from either one of them, before the pidgeon flew off. Couldn't you have flown earlier? Were you stunned?


Well, when fun's over. I went to get food with the group, then went to Ivan's house for a visit. Ended up playing with poker cards yet again, then fell asleep on his sofa. Similar to the guy in this Cyanide and Happiness Short Video, who could just about sit anywhere, I think I can sleep just about anywhere. This isn't the first time I fell asleep at random places.

(Opt for full-screen if you can't see the vid properly)



This doesn't mean my nice-smelling ass has anything to do with my sleeping locations, though.



As for today. A Sunday.


Went to the I.T. Exhibition with my family at Suntec. Wasn't as crowded as when I went last year, but I pespired nonetheless. Cramped space, you see?

Haha, I had no idea televisions were so cheap nowadays. Saw a 40-inch LCD HDTV selling for $1199. A few years ago, it went for around 5 times more.


That's about it, had a tiring day today. Sleep should help to reduce the effects of boredom for tomorrow's M.T. Supplementary class.


P.S. Ah yes, by the way, as recommended by Shahidah, be sure to visit this video:
http://www.youtube.com/user/earthsosvideo

Do your part for the Earth. Before the time comes, where your part, never comes.

Went around doing exercise in the evening with this cool bandage today. What's below the bandage is a history of pull-up injuries. Skin breakages, calluses and the likes. Attractive, huh?

I can still remember I wore something like this to Chang Rong's birthday party a few days ago. Frederick went as far as to think I wore the bandage on purpose so as to correspond to punk fashion. Please, that kinda fashionwear really isn't for me.


School today was considerably enjoyable, to say the least. Loved the free period during Physics when Shahir and I reminisced about our primary school days, while Faris listened as a spectator. The stupid things Primary School boys do... haha.

Had to do GEMs video editing afterwards with Shu Shan and Hou Tian, and spent all my time until 6pm to do it. Why do I have to be the link between GEMs and M.A.P.S...? Sigh. Anytime I wanna take five: "You're an I.T Leader also, go. Do." Ugh.

Arranged to meet the guys at Circle Green at 6pm for our workout. Turned out all of us were busy beforehand, thus we met only at 6.30pm. Just as well, going for a run and muscle training straight after a long day at school isn't what you will readily call relaxing. 30 minutes of rest is better than nothing.

Met with Phil and Jared. Alex, has once again sacrificed time with us to play DOTA (Defense Of The Ancients). Because I don't really like that game, I would rather like to call it the 'Deepest Of The Assholes'. Henceforth, it was just left to us three guys to do our stuff.

Thankfully for the cushioning bandage wrapping around my wound, I could still do my muscle training along with the rest of them. The wound is starting to sting now, though.

We went for a run around Circle Green after our warm-ups. Despite only going for one round, it was more of sprinting than running... And Jared, I was not trying to impress that Woodgrove girl, I was merely running faster than you.

After all the exercise, cans and bottle caps were popped. Not containing Carlsberg or Becks, but Heaven and Earth Green tea, and some other drinks.

Wasn't it fun? Sitting down on the benches, enjoying our drinks and evening breeze. Talking about what men talk. Just wanna say that the trip is something I do not regret going for.

When 3 guys with similar mindsets gather, amazing conversations await. Of course, busting ourselves on pull-up bars, balancing beams, and monkey bars was challenging and delightful at the same time. Not to forget fooling around with the pebble path. Hell yea,

"Go, sliding drop-kick!"

The Elusive Obvious.

How do you detect something when that something has already been there all along, just so it happens that you've always failed to notice it?

A decision so recklessly made, has it not been obvious enough? What you've always thought to be true, turns out to be nothing but a worthless lie. All my promises have dried up, the river ceases to flow.

In life, just what do we want, really? Have you ever thought about that? If you have, chances are you may not even know the answer yourself. Don't deceive yourself, think about it honestly. Try not to be shocked, but at the same time expect no fire in the middle of a downpour.

It amazes me, that something as glaringly obvious as that could have been so carelessly missed. However, it is hard to place the fault. Could it be mine? Even so, is it wrong to be human? If you've had any similar situations, I'm sure you can relate to me, regardless of the context surrounding your story.

If a flower died every single time I overlooked that painful truth, I would be responsible of depriving the world of all the colourful joy they could have been receiving. Perhaps, I would be the first flower to go. All that's left is half-spirited memories, I wonder if they're still worth keeping? Thing is, will I be able to get rid of them?

When you're alone, the sky seems ever so quiet. What's above is the only thing left I can confide in, there is, Nothing Else. Even the gentle whispering of the wind will do, if only. Silent, but overbearing. Is that the fate of the clouds? To only drift aimlessly, and then finally fade into a dark corner of the heavens and eventually vanish?

You want the truth, you may ask. But be careful what you wish for, so they say.
What tastes good, may not be what's good. Pick carefully, meticulously, the Fruit of the Elusive will always remain, Illusive.

I cannot tell anymore, the difference between running from the rain, and walking in the rain. What goes through my mind, tells me, if you're fated to be caught in between, might as well weather it bravely. If you run, what good would it do if you were to slip and fall? Wouldn't the sky secrete upon you even more torrents of hurt?

A clear sky would seem foreign to me by this time, the Sun would only melt me into the grass. I am, just not used to it.

Think about this. What does a mirror do? Logically, it would show you your appearance. Also, it shows you your hide. It isn't obvious, you may not even know that you've got another skin pulled over yourself in every moment of searing pain. On the other hand, it could be the weight of this hide that's pinning you down.

Can a snail or a turtle put away its shell so as to dispose of the extra weight? Can I put away my mask so that I can stop living life behind a fake? The shell protects the animal from getting killed. My mask is a viable shield. You and I may not like to admit this, but it is an obvious fact which none will readily admit. How dodgy.

Despite all that is said and done, a train will always have a round-trip. To the end, and then back to where we started. Sometimes, you may not find the person at the point where his train originated from, where you would expect him.

For all we know, his train might have derailed somewhere along the journey, strayed from the original route, and hurtled towards the impenetrable forest. Never to be found again. In a forest, nothing is wasted. Whatever can be broken down, is broken down, and returned back to the world. Sounds fair, doesn't it?

A long time ago. When beliefs were still unchanged. A time where things were more apparent, it hurts, but it hurts less. Less than what it is now. Mine was not merely a forked road, where choices were present, but limited. Mine was an entire spectrum, but only one particular path drew me. What tastes good, may not be always what's good. How much more truth can be pumped into that?

For every forked road that you go through, the next split will always be narrower. Choices limit other choices, and as we go along, there will always be only one inevitable conclusion left. At this final split road, in which direction shall I push my footsteps towards?

If only there was a simple formula to calculate 'Bliss', so that many can stop to take a look around. Bliss= Love x Time spent together. Or, Bliss could be a product of Care with Showers of Concern.

I was just thinking, perhaps... Bliss is immeasurable. How do you even find a unit for that? Bliss is too non-linear for all these mathematical stuff. The only weighing scale we have for it, lies within our hearts. Calibration between all differs. That's what makes it unique, after all.

According to my calibration, and my life, I shall just point you towards my direction of... downwards.


An Elusive Obvious.
Is like an illusion, tapered over a concrete fact.
Sometimes you sense it. But when you don't, there is the feel of the cold hard pain beneath.
We are all similar. Humans, we are.

Elusive means to have the ability to avoid. Does that always mean that the obvious has always been trying to avoid us?

Ponder. Could it be that we were just avoiding it in vain all these while? Now that it has caught up, we cannot close our eyes to it any longer. When our eyelids are opened, the unknown sight is laid out in front of us. Only that, I, unlike previous eternities ago, cannot predict what it will be this time.

Yea, finally. It's pouring. The last time it rained seems to be donkey years ago.

I swear I could almost hear a sizzling sound as the raindrops evaporated once they made contact with the ground. That's just my impression of how hot and dry it has been. Finally, my flow of needless pespiration stops here.

As the days passed by, with the air getting drier everyday, and I walked around feeling parched in the mouth. Soul getting pounded by the merciless heat. Pools of water turn into meaningless oasis. Heat waves crawling past bleary eyes, I do hope that relief will emerge quickly. The water has, the rest hasn't.

What's happening in the past few days? Jogging myself to death in the dry heat of this season, and not forgetting Chang Rong's birthday, to name a few.

Chang Rong, yous till owe me cake. Who goes to a birthday party without eating cake? Are you like... on a diet or something?

Examination period, gonna go easy on the keyboard from now on. Until Wednesday, that is. Till then, focus on the Common Tests and I'll be seeing you.

There's a first time for everything. Looks like for me today, that thing was Detention Class. Just promise me something, quit the fussing with whatever reasons you think which landed me there.

I was late, that's all. Legs didn't feel like hurrying on my way to school.

All I can say is, it disappointed me. I think I arrived too late at the venue for the fun, and I thought there were supposed to be some rowdy guys around whom who could be of much interest.

Arrived there at 4.30pm, was told that I had to serve for 2 happy hours. Had a nice spot in a classroom until the prefects had to leave for their home, and so I shifted cell to the front of the General Office.

I wouldn't say the entire DC session had been unfruitful. The fun started exactly when I moved to the entrance of the General Office...

You know what? I realised something. I do homework a lot faster in Detention Class, maybe I should do something about that.

Alright, let's just proceed with the several events which happened at my insightful 1 and 1/2 hours at my holy spot near the Admin Office.


First of all, Mr Chan came by.

"Why are you here?"
"Uhm, detention class?"

Afterwards he attempts to launch into a long speech about how successes in life, be it business, studies, or whatever, boils down to discipline.

He told me to get more sleep tonight. (Which is, obviously as you can see, I am not doing)

He told me that it can be hard to wake up sometimes.

He told me that it can be tiring after a whole day at school.

He told me...

He told me...

Yea, basically he told me lots of things. I can say that he's quite an endearing Principal, builds good rapport with his students. Not too fierce, not too lax.

"Aren't you a prefect?"
"No, I'm not a prefect."

I swear, I almost wanted to point to my chest and ask "Do you see a tie or badge?" But decided against it, for mannerisms.

Perhaps I look familiar to him because he'd seen me somewhere before. Like duh, we walk around in the same place almost everyday.

Yea, that's it for Episode 1.

Next is-

"Oh! The last person I would expect to see here!"

*Looks up* Ms Ng.

Waiting for her husband's car.

And then...proceeds again to explain my reasons for being there.

"You're late for many times already is it?"
"No."

Being outside the office doesn't neccessarily mean I've committed something grave.

Chats some more about her birthday, about M.A.P.S, etc.

*Car arrives. Ms Ng happily skips to her dear while waving goodbye*

Once again, I'm all alone. With only the breeze of cloudy dew enveloping my space of zen. But not for long.

Episode 3:

"Ah! William, what are you doing here?"
*Looks up from the differentiation of y= ln(2+e^-x), extremely pissed at the Second Derivative*

...And there I go explaining again.

*Goes back into office, comes back out again.*

"Bye, William."

*Silently nods.*

Except for Ms Arul, whose conversation has been very standard in her questions, these are the ones who visited me.

Point is, I don't get why are so many people shocked at seeing me there. Wei Chuan/William can get lazy as well, I'm not perfect. And I don't wanna be, it's so much less entertaining.

From what I've seen, all of my visitors looked in disbelief when they first saw me. By the third time I got that look, I believed I rolled my eyes.


Apart from teachers, I also saw two parents going to the office asking for their child who hasn't been seen since morning when he went for school. A teacher went to look for their son who was in CO (Chinese Orchestra).

In the meantime, the father started ranting about how his child doesn't seem to like him anymore. About how he has grown up and has start to isolate him and dislikes his presence in school. Doesn't like the father picking him up from school and the likes. (Isn't that what he was doing today?) The longer he talked, the louder he became.

Well, anyway, I buried my face deeper into the Math worksheets, my lips getting ever closer to the loathesome 'lawns' on the table, silently taking it all in. And I wondered, had I been the same as this man's son during the past few years? Yes, I think so, to some extent, but not all. It's hard to be a parent, huh?

It's hard to be a child as well, if I get a dollar for every time my father said "Hey, get the wheel." whenever he releases his hands from the steering wheel of the car while he juggles his wallet, phone, whatever... I'll have enough money to like, get 10 strippers to my house every night.

Life is always seen from the outer surface. Too much inner gazing isn't too good, but sometimes, you just have to.

............................................................................................................................


Because I.

If you ever wonder why I ignore you,
It's only because I cannot risk hurting you with my words.

When you're frustrated as to why I tease you,
To the extent of being seen as ruthless,
It's only because I think you're cuter when you're angry.

Never seem to get the reason why I hush you up when you make certain suggestions,
It's because those suggestions are more for my sake, not your's.
I want it to be your's.

Names other than your own are used,
Amidst your retaliation you cannot see,
That it's only because your real name is too sweet for my voice to take.

My cold eyes searches your face,
They're looking for me, and you, both, inside the two sparkling orbs on the face opposite me,
It looks cold because they contain my ecstasy, frozen within.

I don't know how to apologise,
Because I'm not that clever.
Never knew how to not make you even angrier.

If the rain tonight sounds especially heavy,
It's because my heart sobs at your absence.

If you do not get why kisses rarely last longer than a mere moment,
It's only because I'm afraid my lips will melt under your touch.

I like staring into your eyes,
Because they're the only mirrors I can see myself happy in.

You may ponder at why my gaze on you sometimes seems so everlasting,
Reasons's because I don't like having my mind in a whirl.
It happens. When I don't have your image inside my very soul.

Tears never seem to reach your cheeks,
Because I will have them wiped before that happens.
Can I prevent them from coming out at all?

It's alright to think that I am here for you,
Because I am.
Always will.


~This poem is written for you,
Because,
It is written by me.

William.