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This has got to be one of the longest piece of literature writing I'd set upon doing for a long time. For some reason, as soon as ink and paper connects, it became hard to stop until I felt that the end is really here. This piece recounts the last moments of a disappointed lover...

Taken for a ride

The engine roar rises above all my troubles,
My heart slowly bleeds as I sped along the expressway.
Thinking about your killer of words,
I feel my tires losing grip as I gained speed.
My life had spun out of control,
The moment my love was crushed.

The rising speedometer becomes my clock leading to a resolution,
And I grimly chuckle at my silly illusion.
That smile, that kiss, that promise,
Had all but taken me for a ride.
Here I am on my ride,
Glancing at the device counting down to my extinction.

People call this a joy ride,
But it shall be my last ride.
When I stepped harder on the accelerator,
The glowing backdrop of the city skyline only cynically highlights,
This very imminent fact,
My fuel has run out, I cannot race on much longer.
But neither can I halt to rest,
My brake pedal has been removed by the mechanics of love...

I pondered over your reasons for leaving me,
Behind in this cruel, merciless road.
Where the floodlamps only make me more blind,
Where your face becomes even more blindingly sharp in my mind.
A loveless man will not be able to see the exit of this expressway.

But my soul whispers that there is one way to escape this pain,
Explains that what I'll be doing will not be in vain.
I will be liberated from this endless night.
An insane speed at the next corner will do,
The instant my car merges as one with the wall,
A sear of Agony,
A flash of Black,
My end is near, and so is Suffering's.

Finding that siren lights look somehow beautiful all of a sudden,
Realising that I am not yet dead.
As I gradually retreat back into the remnants of memories,
Spirit slowly leaving me,
No one shall remember me.
But I shall,
Remember the times when we shared elation,
That everlasting piece of perfect time when I had my lips against yours,
Breathing in each other's scented breath...

All these complaints I've heard from you,
If every single droplet of love I have forced out of myself while I was living is not enough,
Then you can have it all.
An unfortunate traffic accident,
My death leaves its mark,
The blood containing every single cell of my love for you seeps into the black tar road,
You can have it all...

Alright, I'm guilty. I'm feeling very ashamed for laughing out loud during the match between Liverpool and Singapore which was being broadcasted just now. I was laughing at the ones in red. But I'm nothing compared to my brother, he screamed 'Liverpool is OWNING Singapore!' when Liverpool scored their 5th goal. Sigh. I still have a lingering sense of patriotism, alright?

Went for Ivan's birthday party yesterday, good friends since 2002. I wish you a rocking good 15-years-old milestone! I embarrassed myself yesterday, haha. No one was willing to start singing a birthday song for Ivan due to his parents standing with us. 'Boys' and 'singing' don't really match, remember? We're shy creatures when it comes to singing. Well, not me, I guess. Pissed that no one was singing, I kicked the ball rolling and started singing in high key. Woah, everyone burst out in laughter. Tsktsk... Hey c'mon, at least I'm enough of a friend to sing for him.

I'm changing my the contents of my jukebox. I practically hated American music before as much as I hate cucumbers, thinking that those songs were all too shallow and meaningless. I'm just being stereotypical that time, I guess. I haven't really learnt to appreciate music back then, I was only appreciatiing lyrics. Not that lyrics aren't important, both matter. Anyway...

Presenting to you, Usher Raymond IV's 'Let it Burn'.

I don't understand why
See it's burning me to hold onto this
I know this is something I gotta do
But that don't mean I want to
What I'm trying to say is that I-love-you I just
I feel like this is coming to an end
And its better for me to let it go now than hold on and hurt you
I gotta let it burn

It's gonna burn for me to say this
But it's comin from my heart
It's been a long time coming
But we done been fell apart
Really wanna work this out
But I don't think you're gonna change
I do but you don't
Think it's best we go our separate ways
Tell me why I should stay in this relationship
When I'm hurting baby, I ain't happy baby
Plus theres so many other things I gotta deal with
I think that you should let it burn

When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
We know that it's through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn


Sendin' pages I ain't supposed to
Got somebody here but I want you
Cause the feelin ain't the same find myself
Callin' her your name
Ladies tell me do you understand?
Now all my fellas do you feel my pain?
It's the way I feel
I know I made a mistake
Now it's too late
I know she ain't comin back
What I gotta do now
To get my shorty back
Ooo ooo ooo ooooh
Man I don't know what I'm gonna do
Without my booo
You've been gone for too long
It's been fifty-leven days, um-teen hours
Imma be burnin' till you return (let it burn)

When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn (let it burn, let it burn, you gon'learn)
Let it burn (gotta let it burn)
Gotta let it burn

Deep down you know its best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
We know that it's through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (ooooh)
I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (yeah)

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh oooh
Ooh ooh oooh (can ya feel me burnin'?)
Ooh ooh ooh oooh ooh oooh

So many days, so many hours
I'm still burnin' till you return

When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
We know that it's through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn
~End

This guy sings it with a lot of soul. Well, I'm posting the lyrics because I find them very...meaningful. Or should I say, thinly associated?

Since it's stated in the news that there's only a 10% chance it'll happen, I can't really say I'm disappointed I didn't get to see today's eclipse. The sky was so dark this morning I don't think we would've notice it anyway. But it made me remember a poem I wrote last year, the time when I justed started to get interested in this poetic baloney... I can't really say it's baloney though, I practically love this literary stuff. (Note: 'Baloney' is just a nicer word for bullsh*t.) Yea so...since I had just embarked on the journey of literary arts development, back then, I didn't use any rhyme scheme, but it still served as my foundation. LOL, there's no rule stating poems must rhyme anyway. Here's a poem depicting what an eclipse can actually portray...

The Sun's wish to be with the moon

People associate us together so often,
Like a pair of loving butterflies.
The Sun says with all his masculinity,
"Come with me! And I will protect you with warmth and ever-blazing light!"
And the moon shyly replies
"Yes I will, my dear Sun."
The Sun brings life during the daytime,
While the moon settles with her serene glow,
In her tranquil chamber at the corners of the night sky.
Waiting for the Sun to fetch her
While the hour glass flips and turns.
Fate was cruel,
The lovers were destined to be opposites of each other,
Never to meet their beloved,
But to instead feel each other's love only in their hearts.
Darkness upon the world when an eclipse occurs,
But for them,
It is a tear-filled meeting,
Possible only once in many lifetimes.

~Darkness is the dagger of the end which stabs the beginning.


Well, I have another poetic inspiration darting around in my head, but I just can't find words to fit them. Sometimes this happens because your mood doesn't match your idea, yet.

Sigh, but I got to admit, I really wanted to experience that eclipse... Haha.

Does any of your Dads fiddle with his wallet while driving? Well, mine does. He was driving down the bloody slope and suddenly took out his wallet to get his Cashcard. Following which, the whole car started inching towards the right without him realising it, I even had the help him give the steering wheel a jerk to the left before the whole lot of us kiss the wall. You might be wondering why the whole family isn't dead yet anyway since a 15-year-old touched the wheel. Well, we're not.

Sunday is one of my favourite days since it's one of the only days that my family get to go out together. So, note this. My slogan is, "Disturb me during a sunny Sunday afternoon, and we've got problems." It's so good to experience the feeling of family, for those who are taking that for granted, don't. You don't miss your family because you get to see them in person very often. Once you find that they're missing one day (I don't mean deceased, mind you.), you will wonder to yourself why you didn't buy that nice tie for him that fateful day.

Erm, I'm wondering if we get to have an early dismissal from school tomorrow, since it's Racial Harmony Day, after all. If only...

Haha, I'm suddenly reminded of something funny that happened this Friday. It was English class...

Ms Lynn See: Wei Chuan! Your report.
Wei Chuan: *Walks over to receive marked report.*
Ms Lynn See: *Holds out report to me.* No mistakes, you can take it back.
Wei Chuan: What? No mistakes? Are you sure? (Says in overly-exaggerated exclaiming tone)
Ms Lynn See: *Hesitates for a few moments in silence*
*Proceeds to mark a second time*

Sigh. I shouldn't have done that, actually. Now I have to do corrections. I just did that so that I could trouble dear Ms Lynn See to mark a second time, sorry, Ms See.

That's about all. See you all tomorrow for the beginning of another arduous school week.

It's nice to see the wiser side of Mrs Lee once in a while, we've been caught up in so much of Math with her that we had almost forgotten that a teacher serves to teach and guide us through life, instead of just academics. Today's (/yesterday's) C.C.D lesson was the hot topic of everyone's blog, so I guess I'll just jump on the bandwagon for this one.

'Resilience', according to my terms, is the ability developed by a person to withstand the many setbacks life throws at them. Such people have always been at the height of admiration from my point of view, and I wonder if I myself, would one day be like them when need be. Sometimes we needn't look far, to find the hero in ourselves. Although as students, we are always told that the pressure we face in today's times are NOTHING. Well, THAT's the adults viewpoint. ^^ I beg to disagree. Today's adults, when was the last instance they lived in our age range? 20, 30 years ago? Any idea how much can change within 20 years? For those who keep themselves updated with the news, I'm sure you'll comprehend (For those, who don't, too bad. It's about time you pick up the habit.). How about, the pressure to get yourself a good career wasn't at the terrifying level as it is now?

As I'd mentioned before, 'pampered' Singaporean students might not neccesarily be ignorant of the miseries of the outside world, for we face imposing problems of our own too, maybe not all, but perhaps some. I had to deal with a near-fractured family with an easy smile ever since a few years ago, sometimes even a mask will start to fade if you hold it up to your face for too long...And family problems don't really refer the tyranny of my control-freak Dad, haha, that's only a norm, and the tip of an iceberg.

Right, back to C.C.D lesson. Mrs Lee also talked about a Chinese National student she once had. Someone who managed to score an A2 for English by studying 2 years for it. I achieved the same feat by studying 15 years for it. This ex-student of Mrs Lee is indeed amazing. I got a feeling I'll like him if I get the chance to meet him. ^_~

And, let me bring my ponderings of love to a conclusion. I always thought it to be a privilege to be able to express my emotions and feelings clearly in words and poetry. But it seems that there will always be some topics that will merely appear in half its meaning if you write it out, never to be fully expressed literally. Which brings me to the next question...

"If love isn't something to be said, can it be done?"
It appears that some will feel that love 'cannot be done', in its second sense, depending on the experiences of different people. Sometimes I really wonder if William Shakespeare knew what he was playing with when he wrote 'Romeo and Juliet'.

"If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?" -Lily Tomlin.

I was reading my novel today, and came across this quote. And no, before any of you starts squirming, I wasn't reading a romance novel. It's a novel about a conspiracy regarding the retaliation against the actions of 9/11. Just happens that there was a couple inside as main characters.

That quote can be further redefined as this: "If this surge of feelings that brings me such __________________, and it totally overwhelms me so, is this love that I am feeling?"

Can anyone fill in the blanks for me, and tell me just what is love? Lily Tomlin's words says the exact same thing, if love was the answer to a question, the question would probably be so labyrinthine that it would be impossible to form that question at all... That, would be an intricate path to tread across...

Is love really all that complicated? It has the ability to drop people into despair, but it can also let us feel the wind against our faces on cloud nine. Various forms of heartbreaks occuring all around me, but never directly at me. Shall I count myself lucky or unfortunate not to have experienced it before? Is it a bit way out of line to talk so sadistically about hoping for 'Love's Devils' to befall oneself? Even if so, the experience would be befitting to make a grown man tear at the corner of his eyes.
That's it, I'm stumped. Friendship-love, I know. But what, is THAT kind of love? Why is it that I see so many people around me getting so obsessed with it while I feel...nothing..? But hey, I'm not underdeveloped, I'm a perfectly fine normal teenager. It's just that, I have not had the chance to run into such incidents yet, or have I? Perhaps not. Girls enter my life on and off from around Primary 6 onwards, but I never really paid them much mind, because I was only interested in making friends in the past, nothing more. Towards my good friends who have been sadly struck with such romantic calamities, I can offer no advice but only heartfelt consolations. I try my best to comprehend, until, it is my time.

Most notable event today was NAPHA, I guess. Not to forget my broken chair. Stupid thing had me leaning on my right butt cheek till it was sore and flattened for fear that the left side would break further. LOL.

As for NAPHA, I was never really good at sports. One thing was that I almost sprained my ankle on my last turnaround and almost tripped in the 'Shuttle Run' station. Stupid mistake cost me.



I search among my library of facts and find nothing. My poems only stare blankly back at me. A find in the dictionary for the word 'love' drew a blank. Only then did I realise, I have not yet know what love is... What is it? It cannot be materialised, yet it runs deep inside everyone. It can be felt, yet sometimes cannot be seen. Only the barrier of doubt remains...

Today, William is truly confused for the first time...

1 week and 1 day. One week and one day since the last time I used my computer... Somehow amazing, considering that I used to not be able to leave it for more than 2 days.

Oh yes, one more thing. As I haven't been online for a long time, I failed to notice a piece of poetry Phil had dedicated to me (Refer to 7-06-09 post), therefore I feel that I owe him an apology for failure to notice and following that, a "thank you" for being such an endearing friend. ^^ Nice poem, although I would prefer it if you didn't associate me with death so much...haha. Many other good friends to thank, for offering much valued advice.

You might've noticed that I've changed my blog song. It's '四面楚歌 (Si Mian Chu Ge)' by Jay Chou.

走着走着 莫名其妙 冲出来好几只狗
zou zhe zou zhe / mo ming qi miao / chong chu lai hao ji zhi gou
As I was walking, a few dogs rushed out from nowhere

我心想我什么时候认养这么多只狗
wo xin xiang wo shen me shi hou ren yang zhe me duo zhi gou
I thought to myself, when did I adopt so many dogs

它们咬着苹果 手里那着长镜头
ta men yao zhe ping guo / shou li na zhe chang jing tou
These dogs, with apples in their mouths, cameras in their hand

好像要对着我诉说什么 阴谋
hao xiang yao dui zhe wo su shuo shen me / yin mou
They appeared to be trying to cluing me in on their plot

会说话的狗 它说它是为了狗周刊
hui shuo hua de gou / ta shuo ta shi wei le gou zhou kan
These talking dogs, they say it's for 'Dogs Weekly'

(Cited from http://www.jay-chou.net/lyrics_view.php?a_id=11&s_id=5)

Normally when I look at the lyrics of songs, I look out for depth of emotions and poetic-wise. But this, is something written by Jay himself to convey his abhorrence towards the paparazzi, and his unwillingness to take their nonsense any longer. Intrusion upon someone's private life is annoyance of the highest order.

That being said, the MV itself is also formidable. Has an air of mystery surrounding it. See everything, understand everyone, trust no one.


I'm invited to join my guys for a game of basketball tomorrow. Well, I would've went, if it wasn't for them choosing to play at 1pm in the afternoon.

It's pains me to see a once united group of people in disarray over a minor disagreement. It is only a piece of clothing, yet it can cause that many problems. Communication is lacking and feedback aren't absorbed. Cutting words are used, objections are bobbed. Next time, let me do the talking.

I'm quite pleased today. Finally had time to sit down with some of my old friends and have us a heart-to-heart chat. Soothens a person up a lot. Let's hope that our journey into the unknown, which is the future, gets better.


"加油, 咬着苹果的狗. 虽然不是我的对手,还是可以成为我的狗.
Work harder, you apple-biting dogs. Although you may not be my match, you still can be my lackey."

*Don't ask me what this means. It only says my thoughts on certain things.

Severe melancholy, or what we might refer to in terminology as 'depression', actually contains the sad truth that there is a boundary as to how much heartbreaks a person can bear. Break this boundary, and no one else will know the limit as to how far and deep are the extremes of a human mind. Sinister thoughts and self-battering notions will be the only thing to think of, and only then will you know how certain things can drive a human to enter upon some of darkest corners of the mind...


Reaching into the darkmost of our hearts




When the death sonata begins to sound like a melodious carol,
Is the moment when we begin our walk down the lane of tragic sorrow.
The cobbled path drives agony into the heart with every stride,
With sharp shards of my shattered pride.

My touch on the doorknob freezes one's pulse,
As I nudged open the door a rancorous being is aroused.
The wicked beckons me in,
Thus he canth feed upon my inconsolable rage and sins.
I smell the sweet scent of blood on the walls,
Memories of a forgotten past return their calls.
Imminent destruction urges me to take my leave,
But tonight I know it is my soul's last eve.
Every single furniture piece,
Only says that nothing can be eased.

The next chamber tells more stories,
An unswept floor exist in our lives as a crease.
A brush of faked apologies will suffice,
Because the aroma of regrets are merely last years's Winter Solstice.

The yellowed parchment on the table I have read,
And saw the miserable days that have been led,
I shall walk out with hesitant treads,
And leave this sadness behind without taking with me a single shred.


Written by William with a pen of putrid blood.
Kind guidance from Phil and with gratitude, I give him my regards. ~End~



A troubled mind is something not easily expressed. I pondered that such savage thoughts could only be literalised by comparing it with a desolate and abandoned house, which is forever lost in the history of our pathetic wrongdoings. This poem has a strong meaning for me, for rough patches in life are not rare, and once in a while something will come for you with a rancid vengeance.

Also for those who are not doing well in their lives, stop wallowing in self-pity, and follow the last line of the poem. May you step into the light soon. Good night.